Turkey Bacon


Both of these are the real thing.






So, I’m at “The Kroger” the other day, checking out. The kid sees that I’m getting bacon, and says “I love bacon.” “Yea, who doesn’t?” I say. Then he says “I love that Turkey Bacon too.”

So then I tell the kid, “Ok, kid, now I’m done.” Conversation over. Look, there are rules in life. Rule number 33.5, you don’t follow up a “I love bacon” comment with a turkey bacon reference. It just doesn’t work, idealistically or conversationally.

If you’re going to bring up turkey bacon, you should be talking about your grandma, or how your doctor told you that you needed to lose some weight or reduce your cholesterol, or how you’re thinking about going vegetarian and want to work up to it. But you don’t bust out how you like bacon and then roll out that turkey bacon is just as good. Any bacon connoisseur knows that turkey bacon doesn’t stack up to the real McCoy.

It’s like mentioning a bb gun when someone is talking Smith and Wessons. It’s like bringing up your scooter when guys are standing around talking about their Harleys. It’s like when people are talking about Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, and you bring up seeing your sister in her underwear. It’s poor form. Just don’t do it.

I mean, kid’s just don’t get it these days. Too much social media, most likely. What it tells me is this kid has never been in a locker room after gym class and got made fun of because he brought up turkey bacon.

About whatshupp

I'm a project manager engaged with social media, technology, energy efficiency. A retired member of the United States Air Force, I've become a bit of a distance runner.
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